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WPC Book Club
The Price Of Privilege
Part 1 Discussion Questions
January 17, 2008
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1. “THE FACT THAT MANY OF THESE TEENS ARE HIGHLY PROFICIENT IN
SOME AREAS OF THEIR LIVES HELPS MASK SIGNIFICANT IMPAIRMENTS IN
OTHERS…” (page 1)
How have the kids
gotten so good at leading double lives?
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2. “(ADOLESCENTS) DESCRIBE “BEING AT LOOSE ENDS” OR
MISSING SOMETHING INSIDE” OR “FEELING UNHAPPY FOR NO
REASON” (page 5)
Have these feelings in
adolescents changed much in the past 40 years?
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3. “…THEY HAVE TROUBLE ANTICIPATING THE CONSEQUENCES OF THEIR
ACTIONS. THEY ARE OVERLY DEPENDENT
ON THE OPINIONS OF PARENTS, TEACHERS, COACHES, AND PEERS AND FREQUENTLY
RELY ON OTHERS… (page 5)
How can
parents make their opinions heard/have as much influence as the peer group
without lecturing. How has technology
ie cell phones decreased problem-solving?
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4. “SENSING THEIR CHILDREN’S VULNERABILITIES, PARENTS FIND
THEMSELVES PROTECTING THEIR OFFSPRING FROM EITHER CHALLENGE OR
DISAPPOINTMENT.” (page 6)
Hasn’t
there been an emphasis on building the self esteem in children from the
preschool years? Would this in
itself not make them more equipped to deal with challenges in life?
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5. “WHILE DEMANDS FOR OUTSTANDING ACADEMIC OR EXTRACURRICULAR PERFORMANCE
ARE VERY HIGH, EXPECTATIONS ABOUT FAMILY RESPONSIBILITIES ARE AMAZINGLY
LOW” (page 6)
What
are realistic expectations re family/household involvement in adolescence?
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6. “ADOLESCENT SUICIDE HAS QUADRUPLED SINCE 1950” (page 7)
What do you think contributes to this statistic?
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7. “…PARENTS WHO PERSISTENTLY FALL ON THE SIDE OF
INTERVENING FOR THEIR CHILD, AS OPPOSED TO SUPPORTING THEIR CHILD’S
ATTEMPTS TO PROBLEM SOLVE, INTERFERE WITH THE MOST IMPORTANT TASK OF
CHILDHOOD AND ADOLESCENCE: THE
DEVELOPMENT OF A SENSE OF SELF.
AUTONOMY…” (page 8)
Do we
see this when parents intervene with discipline attempts at school? What’s your reaction to risky
behavior? Does our present society
consider a “good parent’ to be one who intervenes compared with
previous generations?
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8. …”CONNECTION WITH HER MOTHER IS SECURE ENOUGH TO
WITHSTAND A DIFFERENCE OF OPINION ALLOWS HER TO MAKE A DECISION THAT FEELS
AUTHENTICALLY HER WON BECAUSE SHE IS NOT DIVERETED BY HER MOTHER’S
NEEDS OR ANXIETY.” (page8)
What
strategies have worked for you re “forging a connection”. How do you deal
with realization that your child may not be the star athlete/dancer, etc
that you were?
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9. “…CHILDREN SEEM
LESS AND LESS ABLE TO ACCOMPLISH THE TASKS OF CHILDHOOD AND ADOLESCENCE-DEVELOPING
FRIENDSHIPS, INTERESTS, SELF-CONTROL, AND INDEPENDENCE.” (page10)
What
are some contributing factors to this statement? Is this observation limited to US or
worldwide?
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10. “IT … SEEMED ODD THAT PARENTAL CONCERN AND FINANCIAL RESOURCES
WERE NOT HAVING THE EXPECTED PROTECTIVE EFFECT ON THE MENTAL HEALTH OF
KIDS” (page 12)
Could
we become less attuned to our children’s cries for help, thinking
this is just a phase since we know they have more opportunities,
possessions, etc than we ever did?
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11. “WE ARE OVERLY
CONCERNED WITH THE “BOTTOM LINE”; WITH HOW OUR CHILDREN
“DO” RATHER THAN WHO OUR CHILDREN “ARE”. (page 14)
How
does this relate to standardized testing?
How does this influence course selection at the High School level?
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12. “…WE HAVE TO
BEGIN TO DEVELOP THE KINDS OF RELATIONSHIPS, HOMES, SCHOOLS, AND
COMMUNITIES THAT CAN ACT AS A SAETY NET NOT ONLY FOR KIDS WITH
“PROBLEMS” BUT FOR ALL KIDS.
…STOP POURING OUR RESOURCES INTO THE PROBLEM AND BEGIN POURING
THEM INTO THE SOLUTION.” (page 15)
How can
WPC further assist with this process in the future?
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13. “STUDIES OF PUBLIC
SCHOOL STUDENTS HAVE SHOWN THAT AS MANY AS 22% OF ADOLESCENT GIRLS FROM
FINANCIALLY COMFORTABLE FAMILIES SUFFERS FROM CLINICAL DEPRESSION. THIS IS THREE TIMES THE NATIONAL RATE OF
DEPRESSION FOR ADOLESCENT GIRLS. (page 18)
Comments
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14. “AFFLUENT PARENTS HESITATE TO SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP MORE
THAN OTHER GROUPS OF PARENTS” (page 26)
What
can be done to lessen the stigma attached to mental illness?
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15. “NOTABLY, THERE IS A PARTICULARLY STRONG RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN
PERFECTIONISM AND SUICIDE AMONG THOSE ADOLESCENTS WHO ARE GIFTED. ADOLESCENT SUICIDE IS OFTEN PRECIPITATED
BY A PERCEIVED FAILURE.” (page 29)
Is
there a down side to labeling a child as “gifted” and providing
the child with a special class?
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16. “AND IT IS EMOTIONAL CLOSENESS, MATERNAL WARMTH IN
PARTICULAR, THAT IS AS CLOSE AS WE GET TO A SILVER BULLET AGAINST
PSYCHOLOGICAL IMPAIRMENT.” (page 31)
Do you agree
that the mother makes the most difference in the young person’s
psyche?
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17. “MORE AND MORE YOUNG PEOPLE FEEL THAT THE PURSUIT OF MONEY
TAKES PRECEDENCE OVER PERSONAL, MORAL, AND INTELLECTUAL DEVELOPMENT.”
(page 47)
How do
our lifestyles contribute to this feeling of materialism?
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18. “EXTERNAL MOTIVATION DRIVES KIDS TO PARTICIPATE IN
ACTIVITIES NOT PRIMARILY BECAUSE OF THE ACTIVITY ITSELF BUT BECAUSE OF SOME
ASSOCIATED GAIN…IT STRIPS LEARNING OF EXCITEMENT, SINCE WHAT IS MOST
VALUABLE IS NOT THE LEARNING EXPERIENCE PER SE BUT WHATEVER PERKS ACCOMPANY
IT” (page 55)
What
have effective educators done to foster love of learning despite some the
pressures they face (ie NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND/methods of school
funding)? What can we do?
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19. “TRY TO TAKE PLEASURE IN YOUR CHILD’S
IDIOSYNCRATIC INTERESTS. IT IS AT
THIS INTERSECTION OF INTERNAL MOTIVATION, PARENTAL SUPPORT, AND DEVELOPING
INTERESTS THAT THE CHILD’S SENSE OF SELF IS TAKING SHAPE” (page
58)
How can
we better celebrate diversity? Can
parents’ own ego get in the way?
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