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WPC Book Club
The Price Of Privilege
Part 3 Discussion Questions
February 21, 2008
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1. "Parents, like children, grow
and change; parenting styles are not written in stone. Avoid feeling
guilty about what you have or haven't done and move forward
enthusiastically with new insights about those things you can do." pg.
128
Have you
ever changed your parenting style because you felt pressure (guilt) from a
friend or from yourself? How can we
support each other without the guilt?
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2. "Of particular concern is the fact
that studies show that children from authoritarian households are more
aggressive than children from families with other parenting styles.
Authoritarian homes, with their one-way emphasis on power, can provide a
breeding ground for bullies." pg.
130
Rules are
important, but at what point does the enforcement of rules overshadow the
healthy development of the child?
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3. "Children of permissive parents tend
to be likable, social and to enjoy high self-esteem. On the other
hand, they tend to be impulsive, immature, and to have difficulty
understanding the consequences of their actions. These children tend
to be manipulative and have lower rates of academic achievement and higher
rates of substance abuse than children from either authoritarian or
authoritative homes." pg 131
How can we help children understand that there are
consequences (both good and bad) for their actions?
Is immediate gratification a bad thing? Do we expect it
ourselves?
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4. "Think about the way you listen to a close friend and then
think about how you listen to your children." Pg 134
comments
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5. "Feeling accepted by Dad appears to
be particularly important when it comes to grades and conduct." pg.
135
In your experience do you generally find this to be a
true statement? Why do you think this is so?
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6. "Many affluent women have active
social lives but few real friends. Rates of marital dissatisfaction
are high, affected by the same forces that burden our kids; too much
pressure and too little intimacy." pg.
140
This is my own observation (Diane). It seems the more
affluent the neighborhood we moved into, the less likely I was going to get
a welcome loaf of homemade bread from a neighbor. Have you noticed
that your pursuit of money has overshadowed your pursuit of friendship?
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7. "While superficially praise seems to
be about warmth and connection, on a deeper level it is about control and
compliance." Pg. 143
Have you ever done something you didn't want to do to please
or receive praise from another person?
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8. "We can learn all kinds of
techniques for disciplining, but they are bound to fail unless, at heart,
we have a loving relationship with our child." pg. 154
Have you ever used discipline to punish rather than to teach?
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9. "In spite of the seemingly
endless capacity of adolescents to be contrary, when parents are clear
about expectations and set up consequences for noncompliance, then teens
are actually much more capable of adhering to parental standards." pg.
155
Are you setting clear expectations and limits for your
children, or are your expectations more vague?
For those with college age children - the same question.
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